Feeling sick and tired.. feeling moody and ill...
did not went to church yesterday... thinking i could rest at home but i got more restless instead... having weird feeling the whole week, wonder what is going on to me?! dun want to go church, wanting to backslide from church, families in church and God's presence! but i just can't do it! i just miss God's presence that i felt every week! miss fellow shipping with my families! i dunno what is wrong with me, i can go back to smoking, drinking and emo-ing but i can feel the wrath and disappointment from God in me... but i just cant stop going to Church, everytime when the worship songs starts to play, i will just want to fall on my knee, crying, worshipping Him, telling Him how much i love Him... the power is just too strong for me to move away!! i love my leaders i love my pastors, i love the church, i love the presence of God but i just dunno how to love myself.. all i want is my friends to be saved in Christ and have them grow spiritually to give the best moment of their life to God and for this reason i dun mind sacrificing myself to let him or her be save, if i were to get hit by a car just to save the one i love, i will not want him or her to cry and say are you ok?! please hang on, the ambulance will be arriving! but all i want is him/her to raise his/hand up high and say Lord, i am sorry for my sin, please come in to my life and clense me clean so that i could give you the best year of my life! Amen! that will be the best thing the person could do for me..