time fly~~~ remember the 1st time i whine due to the stress in the work place, not knowing how to cop with all the things there? now is already 18 Nov, just one more day of attachment and i am out of the place!! this should be the happiest moment of my life! instead of going out celebrate, there is this uncertainty feeling, i am afraid, i am worried, every time were a path is about to end i start to fear what my future might be! what am i gonna be? what ministry should i join? and most of all, what God has plan for me? i love to sing, i have a dream to sing but will i be able to sing?

as a christian i have a big dream, i may not be a leader but i dream of bringing the world together bring down the walls of other believes to open the eyes to their hearts to see the one and only God, going in to the place were hearts were broken, a place were child of God lost their hope and dreams, a place were the world has forsake them.

i will build my spirit man strong enough to not lose the faith but also strong enough to carry them out to the arm of my Lord, God has never forsake me even after i had backslide for years, God still remember me dearly, holding me by my hand carrying me through every obstacles

this will be the strength that make me wanna reach out! there is thousands, millions who no not of this God, always ready to heal their broken hearts, ready to filled them with dreams and hope, ready to embrace them with the love so strong no one can deny!

i may have troubles of my own but how am i gonna look at it?
will i still run a way like my old self?
will i be stong by relying on God?
or
will i just rely n my own strength....?

i wanna be embrace all the time like a small boy but at the same time i know i have grown up, i know it's time to start giving but i am always reach my hand out to receive more! when troubles come i will build myself with prayer, worship and promise of God but i am not strong to smile when troubles arrive, seriously i am good at muti-task in some ways but definitely not in this way..

but one thing i know is that the old me with thousands of mask is slowly revealing the real self .. i am slowly opening up to others, the old me who put on fake smile is slowly smiling from the inside... God is making a change in my life and i know i will be a better man